Why Is Divorce So Difficult?

ID-100138425What I enjoy most about my job is having the opportunity to work with lots of different people. Each one is an individual, with different ways of thinking and different priorities.

The differences between a husband and wife would have greatly contributed to the breakdown of their relationship. However, coming to the sad realisation that these differences have led to a decision to part company is only stage one. The poor couple are then expected to work together (perhaps with the help of a mediator or independent solicitors), to resolve financial matters, children issues and formalise the dissolution of their broken marriage. A tall order indeed!

Divorce can be very difficult and the main reason for this is because it involves people and those people (most probably but not always) do NOT get on. This is a great challenge for both the parties themselves but also the professionals brought in by the couple to help them through the process.

So, everyone is different.  There cannot be a one size fits all approach to divorce, hence the variety of options available to help resolve marital affairs, e.g. mediation, collaborative law and the family law courts. It is imperative that all the professionals involved with the couple, remember they are working with individuals. Likewise, the couple themselves need to at least understand how their spouse thinks.  Understanding their spouse’s viewpoint (even if they don’t agree with it) can help the client navigate through the divorce process to hopefully reach an amicable conclusion. The more the parties can compromise and work together, the quicker, more straightforward and cheaper the divorce process will be for them. This keeps stress levels down and puts the couple in a stronger position to create a good post -divorce relationship; a great advantage for co-parenting the children in the future.

The differences in people’s personalities makes us as human beings fascinating. But when it comes to sorting out family matters in a divorce, this is really not easy! Everyone involved needs to understand these differences and learn to work with them to reach a good outcome for all concerned.


If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.

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