christmas baubleApproaching Christmas When It’s Not Your Turn to Have The Kids

ID-10052944An ongoing challenge for divorced parents is that neither of you get to be with your kids 24/7.

Good parents must always realise that the fact that Mum and Dad are divorced, should not impact the relationship the kids have with each parent.

However, this can still make arrangements for special occasions complicated and stressful.

One of the most traditional types of arrangements for the festive season is for divorced parents to take it in turns to have the children for Christmas itself.

If it’s not your turn to have the children this year, you may be apprehensive about how best to approach Christmas.

Here are some tips to help you enjoy Christmas this year:

Have a Christmas Day when you do have the kids

You could choose to celebrate Christmas when you do have time with the kids around Christmas. They will be delighted at celebrating it twice.

Remember it will be your turn next year

This year will be different and not what you would have wanted, but there is always next year to look forward to.

Do something different

Don’t be on your own. Take up offers from friends/family; organise a gathering yourself; consider volunteering for a charity event; or go on holiday and do something completely different.

Choose carefully who you spend time with

Christmas brings up lots of emotions and can be a difficult prospect for divorced parents who are not spending it with their children. Be kind to yourself and choose to spend time with people who help you to feel good about yourself.

Make the most of the time off

Appreciate the quiet and calm without the kids and relax. Take time out to enjoy the peace and have a break from being a parent on duty 24/7. You could perhaps choose to do activities you enjoy but aren’t able to do with the kids.

Arrange contact with the kids on Christmas Day

Reach agreement with your ex about when you will get to speak to the kids on Christmas Day. Using Facetime or Skype means you can talk face to face and the kids can show you their toys and presents.

Be kind to yourself

Allow yourself to enjoy the festivities. Don’t feel guilty about having fun or relaxing without the kids being there. You are allowed to have fun too. But, if you don’t feel very festive don’t feel under pressure to be the life and soul of the party all the time.

Be strong for the sake of the kids

Don’t share with the kids that you are going to be sad and won’t enjoy Christmas without them. Allow them to enjoy their time with their other parent and not feel guilty for not being with you. Let them have fun.

For more blogs on the topic of Christmas, click on the links below:

How To Survive Your First Christmas Post Separation

Tips For Christmas For Divorced Parents: Part 1

Tips For Christmas For Divorced Parents: Part 2

How To Cope With Christmas When You Feel Like Your Marriage Is Over


If  you are struggling with the thought of not being with your children for Christmas this year, or have any other concerns regarding your separation/divorce, please get in touch with me via my Contact page or telephone me on 07970 231744. I am here to help.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.

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