Discovering your partner has been unfaithful in some way can be the worst thing imaginable for many people.
The shock and perhaps panic is very difficult to deal with and this could lead to you feeling like you are spinning out of control under the stress.
Here are some tips for how best to manage your stress:
Be aware of your symptoms – e.g. problems sleeping, being tearful, difficulty making decisions, unexpected anger, loss of appetite, brain fog, short term memory issues.
Remember past strategies – Has there been a time in the past when you have suffered from similar symptoms of stress? What did you do that helped you get through them then?
Focus on the short term – Don’t think too far ahead. Take things day by day and concentrate on the present time.
Keep things simple – Only do what you really need to do. Non urgent things can wait. Delegate chores to other people where possible.
Ask for help – It is a sign of strength to ask for help. Don’t struggle alone. But the right help and support for yourself during this challenging time. Speak to a divorce coach or relationship counsellor.
Choose carefully who you confide in – Keep your circle of trust small. Choose to talk with friends or family members who are good listeners and who don’t pass judgement.
Take time out – Give yourself a break from thinking about your stressful situation; even if it’s just for a short time each day. Take some time for yourself to rest and slow down.
Acknowledge your partner’s stress – Perhaps your partner is suffering from similar symptoms of stress? Be careful about making things worse between you by using “attacking” questioning.
Be solution-focused – Instead of concentrating on what your partner has done which has upset you, recognise that this could be a wake-up call for you both to work on your relationship.
Slow down – In times of stress everything can feel like its running at 100mph. Avoid making big and/or hasty decisions when you are feeling stressed.
Infidelity does not have to result in the end of the relationship. But whether you work towards getting back together or there is no turning back and the relationship ends, make strong informed decisions and take carefully considered actions. Read my blog Not All Affairs End In Divorce.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.
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