One of the lovely clients I worked with a couple of years ago, has very kindly agreed to tell her personal story about her divorce and the work we did together to support her through this challenging time in her life. She has also agreed to provide me with some photos of her gorgeous self to help bring the story alive.
Here is Alyson’s story in her own words….
I had just discovered that my marriage was over…
…. rather suddenly and unexpectedly. I was in considerable distress and overwhelmed by the whole situation and how to start dealing with the unravelling of 18 years as a couple.
Remembering that I had met Rhiannon once, only briefly, I saw her as a potential lifeline.
My immediate concern was that my husband was moving very quickly.
I knew that I would ultimately need advice about getting a divorce, but my immediate concern was that my husband was moving very quickly in making plans for selling our home, and was telling me how he saw us moving forward as if he had it all worked out. I was still reeling and was not in a position to make any decisions, and was wary of being swept along. I needed someone on my side who could help me take back a little control and put myself first in the process, working out what was best for me.
Rhiannon Reassured me that we would take this process at my own pace.
Looking back it is hard to remember detail, as that period largely passed in a blur of emotion and fear. My strongest memory is of how Rhiannon reassured me that we would take this process at my own pace and helped me slow things down a little in order to absorb the changes and what they would mean for me before we started making big decisions. She gave me an overview of the process, and then broke it down into manageable chunks so that I understood what I was preparing myself for, assuring me I only needed to deal with one thing at a time.
After my first meeting with Rhiannon my mantra became “I’m going to be okay. I just don’t know what okay looks like yet.”. I clung to these often repeated words throughout the process and whenever I was feeling lost.
Thanks to Rhiannon’s support, I was both emotionally prepared and prepared in practical terms…
…when I first embarked on the legal process. I went to my first appointment with my solicitor with my financial paperwork in order and a clear and realistic expectation of what I was aiming to achieve through the process.
It was also helpful that Rhiannon was able to attend these legal meetings and clearly articulate to the solicitor what we had already discussed, as well as explain anything I wasn’t sure about.
Rhiannon was patient about explaining and reiterating details we had discussed.
It is sometimes difficult to take everything in when you are under emotional stress and Rhiannon was very patient about explaining and reiterating details we had discussed before.
Rhiannon was an invaluable support to me throughout the process. I will always be grateful to have had someone on my side who fully understood the emotional and wellbeing issues I was experiencing, as well as escorting me through the legal process.
Rhiannon bridges the gap with caring support.
It doesn’t matter how good your solicitor is, their role in this enormous life change is, and has to be, limited.
It doesn’t matter how supportive your friends and family are, there are limits to how involved they can be in a long and exhausting process.
Rhiannon bridges the gap with caring support within a framework that gently coaxes and leads you forward.
I have created a life that is so much happier than I thought possible.
I have surprised myself and found a strength I didn’t know I had. I’ve created a life that is so much happier than I thought possible. I love my new home and have enjoyed furnishing and creating a relaxing space that truly reflects me and the way my life is now.
I’ve been on a number of holidays abroad on my own or with friends, and I’m comfortable eating out on my own or buying just one ticket for a show. I feel there are no limits, life is what I make it. Most of all I’m proud of the person I have become, completely true to myself.
I was so delighted to see Alyson come out the other end of this traumatic time in her life and she is living proof that there is in fact life and happiness after divorce. She has blossomed with renewed strength and confidence in who she is and what she wants from her future life. She may not have asked to have gone through the breakdown of her marriage but she has certainly not allowed it to hold her back. She’s doing fantastically well and I’m so very proud to have a helped play a small part in helping her get to where she now is. Brilliant!
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can – purchase and download today.
If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during or after the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.
Why I became a divorce consultant.