I have been working with this lovely lady since the beginning of her divorce. Her divorce solicitor recommended she contact me, initially to help her prepare her financial disclosure information.
Since then, I have worked closely with her to support and guide her through her divorce process. I have accompanied her to meetings with her solicitor and barrister and we keep in regular contact as the case progresses towards the first court hearing.
She has kindly agreed to share her story about the work we have done together so far. Her name has been disguised and I have used a stock image to protect her personal identity.
Here is Mrs O’s story in her own words….
“I had been hurled into the nightmare of divorce proceedings against my narcissist husband.
My lawyer could see I was in great emotional turmoil and with amazing foresight, suggested that I contact Rhiannon. His reasons were twofold; firstly, that her knowledge and legal experience would help shed light on what can seem an overwhelming mountain trek of the legal system, but secondly, and just as importantly, her role as divorce consultant would support me in a way that divorce lawyers don’t. He said, she will not only save you money, going through the divorce, ensuring that the money I was to spend with him was well spent but she would also give me the day to day support to survive and come out the other end emotionally stronger.
When I first met Rhiannon I still hadn’t really grasped the fact that applying for divorce and building my case for a financial remedy, were two very different routes.
My Form E needed completing, and Rhiannon offered me her very calm and organised head in helping me sift out the purely emotional rants from the valuable info that would build a stronger case.
However, it was Rhiannon’s understanding of narcissistic personalities that really helped me move on from my dark place of shock and despair to a belief that I can and will survive.
I am beginning to allow myself to look optimistically to the future as a place where I can and will take charge of my own life and future.
It is Rhiannon’s empathy and calm guidance that has literally saved me from breaking down and giving up. The whole process of divorcing, and seeing what you thought was a life forever shatter is horrendous, but Rhiannon and her instinct in knowing how to keep me focused and calm has helped me communicate with my lawyers better, and perhaps more importantly, helped me feel heard and validated; something that had been eradicated within my marriage.
I can honestly say Rhiannon has helped me during the legal process in absolutely every way.
Rhiannon held my hand in ensuring my Form E was completed in the most thorough and professional manner possible (my husband’s was sloppy and unprofessional). However, it was her support in me communicating with my legal team both via email and conferences that were invaluable. Rhiannon was able to wear both legal and emotional support hats. She ensured that I never felt bamboozled by legal jargon.
I have benefitted from being able to discuss my fears and vulnerabilities with Rhiannon without fear of judgement.
Rhiannon’s understanding of what motivates a narcissist is such a gift and one I hadn’t really realised that I needed in order to build my emotional strength. I am still in disbelief that the man I married could be so cruel and abusive but the difference now, thanks to Rhiannon’s insight, is that I realise his behaviour was and is all about his demons and not about me.
If someone was getting a divorce, I would tell them that Rhiannon can help them in every way.
I honestly believe that whatever happens legally with my financial remedy and court hearings, I had the best support possible and thanks to Rhiannon I am moving forward, knowing my new life will be a good one.”
Mrs O is a lovely lady who I am confident will have a happy and successful post-divorce future. We are working together to re-build her self-confidence and remind her how talented, capable and self-sufficient she really is. She’ll be absolutely fine.
I am working with an increasing number of clients who have come to the realisation that their spouses have traits of narcissistic personality disorder. Dealing with this complex personality disorder during divorce is very challenging.
I can highly recommend Karyl McBride’s book – Will I Ever Be Free of You? which provides great insight in to the narcissistic personality and helpful practical advice on how to navigate through a high conflict divorce with a narcissist spouse.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.
If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.
Why I became a divorce consultant.