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Rhiannon Ford

Rhiannon Ford

Divorce Consultant

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managing stress

How can a divorce consultant help during the legal process? Hear Mrs F’s story…

By Rhiannon Ford

Coming to the conclusion that she wanted to end her marriage had taken a lot of careful thought by Mrs F. She wanted to approach everything in the right way and to keep things amicable with her husband if at all possible.

She kindly agreed to share her story of the work we did together:

1. What in particular did you want help with when you first started working with Rhiannon?

“Understanding the process from start to end, what my rights were and especially the legal jargon used by my solicitor.”

2. What did you find most helpful about working with Rhiannon in the early stages of your separation/divorce?

“Rhiannon understood that I was a person not just a client, as I was to my solicitor, she really took into account my emotional state at the time.

The biggest initial thing that Rhiannon did for me was to take me through the process in plain English to make sure I understood what steps I would face.  Although this was still really frightening it made me feel a lot better knowing what I was going to have to face.

Rhiannon cared about me and my emotional state.”

3. How has working with Rhiannon helped you during the legal process of your divorce?

“Rhiannon has helped me enormously with understanding the legal jargon used by my solicitor.

Also, through every step of the process she was there to provide me with an insight of what to expect, especially at the court stage.  She coached me throughout and was always available when I needed some advice.  It was invaluable that we could touch base via telephone when needed because there were points where I thought it was all going wrong for me but she put me back on track and made me think clearer and understand it was just another step.”

4. What have been any other benefits of working with Rhiannon?

“I cannot put into words the benefits of working with Rhiannon.

I am pretty sure I would not have come out of the divorce as calmly and as well as I did.

I felt like she was always there for me and on my side and wanted the best possible outcome for me.”

5. What would you say to someone considering getting a divorce as to how Rhiannon might be able to help them?

“Rhiannon’s experience and understanding of the whole process is invaluable to anyone going through a divorce.  Most of us only do this once and do not know the steps and what to expect and just having the bigger picture explained really helped me.

I would recommend anyone starting a divorce speaks to Rhiannon early on, my biggest regret was not having her on board when selecting my Solicitor to work with, because I am certain that we would not have chosen the solicitor I went with.”

Divorce involves lots of complicated decisions and it is crucial to have the right help and support in place to help you navigate through these.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.

If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during or after the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.

Why I became a divorce consultant. 

How A Divorce Consultant Can Help: Hear Mrs K’s Story

By Rhiannon Ford

One of my clients, Mrs K, has kindly agreed to answer some questions about the work we did together. Here is her story…

What was going on for you that prompted you to get in touch with Rhiannon in the first place?

I was struggling to decide whether I should go ahead with filing for divorce or try to continue working with my husband’s unsatisfactory self-designed separation agreement and felt quite overwhelmed by the hugeness of the decisions I needed to take. My solicitor knew Rhiannon and thought she might help me.

What in particular did you want help with when you first started working with Rhiannon?

Sorting out my goals, getting affirmation that I was entitled to ask for a divorce and that I had been badly treated, working out my next steps.

What did you find most helpful about working with Rhiannon in the early stages of your separation/divorce?

Clarifying the legal process, bringing order to my thoughts about the process of separation/divorce and what needed to be done.

Being able to express my emotions – anger, hurt, bewilderment, frustration, not knowing what to do – in a way that was not appropriate with my solicitor and, very importantly, feeling understood, supported and validated.

How has working with Rhiannon helped you during the legal process of your divorce?

Rhiannon was very helpful with completing Form E, and explaining the legal process and timings of the different stages.

What have been any other benefits of working with Rhiannon?

It saved me some time and costs that I would have otherwise needed to spend with my lawyer.

What would you say to someone considering getting a divorce as to how Rhiannon might be able to help them?

You don’t know until you are facing the prospect of divorce how incredibly daunting it is at a time when you are very distressed and overwhelmed. Family and friends can give huge support, but there are some things you can’t burden them with. And you can’t ask your solicitor for help with making choices as they are there to carry out your requests and provide legal direction where needed. Also their time is very expensive. Rhiannon with her legal knowledge fills the gap between counselling and giving emotional support and the law. I found that invaluable during the early stages.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.

If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.

Why I became a divorce consultant. 

Foods to Avoid When Struggling with the Stress of Divorce

By Rhiannon Ford

Stress, anxiety and depression can be common symptoms of divorce. During this time, it is important to take good care of yourself, to be in the best position possible for dealing with the various challenges of your divorce. I can often be heard advising my clients to focus on “taking control of the controllables and letting go of things they do not have control over”. What we choose to eat and drink is something we have control over and can make a big difference to how we feel physically and emotionally.

We’ve all done it – reached for the biggest piece of chocolate cake we can find or the takeaway pizza and ice cream that comforts us and make us feel better, albeit temporarily, when we are under stress. And after all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with occasionally indulging ourselves with something ‘naughty’. But if we continually choose those foods, are they actually helping or hindering our stress levels in the long term?

Common sense tells us that a diet of fatty, sugary foods isn’t good for us. But when we are under stress, our minds and bodies often react differently. Studies show that experiencing prolonged bouts of stress, during separation or divorce for example, can affect not only our nervous system but also our immune and endocrine (hormone) systems. So it’s vital that during such a time, we take extra care of ourselves. Something that the majority of us put last on the list.

But self care doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive. If it’s possible to be spirited away somewhere other people will look after you and try to help you relax, that’s wonderful. But if that isn’t possible, there are key things we can all do which can help make the debilitating effects of stress a little more manageable.

Food is one of those key things.

The oft used phrase ‘ you are what you eat’ could not be more relevant during a period of prolonged stress. Salty, sugary and fatty foods are the ones that will trigger the reward centre of our brain. They are also the ones that will slow our metabolism. So whilst the first few bites of that pizza may be delicious, eating those stodgy, sludgy foods too often will ultimately end up leaving you feeling both physically and mentally sluggish, drained of energy and lethargic and can even aggravate the way our body responds to stress.

There is nothing wrong with the occasional indulgence; a coffee and cake with a friend, a glass of wine every now and then. But the key to managing stress and its symptoms is moderation. If you are constantly tempted by less healthy food options, try and keep to some simple rules and avoid the following:

  • Processed foods

    They are often loaded with sugar and preservatives which give us a burst of energy but then cause us to crash and reach for more sugar. When shopping, try and stick to the fresh food aisles to avoid temptation.

  • Alcohol

    Alcohol, may give us a temporary high but acts as a depressant and disrupts our sleep patterns. Have the odd glass of wine by all means but if you find yourself reaching for a drink every night, try and substitute it with something else – a spritzer, an unusual cordial or mix a non alcoholic cocktail.

  • Caffeine

    Too much caffeine can affect our adrenal glands, leading to a dip in energy and an inability to manage stress.You don’t have to give up your morning coffee, but where possible, avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening to ensure you get a good nights rest. Instead try substituting tea and coffee with decaf versions or herbal teas.

  • Sugar

    Sugary foods like doughnuts and cakes, for example, can cause a chemical reaction in our body that actually increases our anxiety levels. Stress causes our cortisol levels to rise which, in turn, triggers a message to our brain to take in more sugar in case we end up in a fight or flight scenario and need energy. But in most cases, we can manage without it. If you feel that sugar craving coming on, reach for some berries, a little dark chocolate or a spoonful of nut butter.

If you still find it difficult to make good decisions about food, make yourself accountable. Try keeping a food diary or ask a friend to get involved. If you have to tell someone what you are eating, chances are you will think twice about what you select.

If you are finding it difficult to cope with the stress of your divorce, please don’t struggle alone. Get in touch with me here to find out how I can support you through this challenging time in your life. I’m here to help.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.

By signing up you will also receive my monthly newsletter with more free advice on different aspects of divorce.

How To Manage Stress During Divorce

By Rhiannon Ford 2 Comments

freeimage-5374480-webRelationship breakdown, involves a complex variety of issues. It is natural for you to feel stressed when you are going through divorce. The first steps to managing stress are:

1. recognise that you are stressed

and then

2. identify what in particular is causing you stress – e.g. money, the children, being alone, or all of the above

Once you know you are stressed and what the cause is, you can start to work out how to help yourself manage the stress. This may involve things you could do for yourself, or help you need to obtain from another source.

Signs You May Be Suffering From Stress

Long term stress can cause problems for both your physical and emotional body. Here are some signs that you may be suffering from stress;

  •  you have had a lot of illness in the last few months – e.g. lots of colds, upset stomachs, coldsores etc.
  • you are suffering from depression and/or anxiety
  • you are having trouble sleeping
  • you are over or under eating-loss of appetite or comfort eating
  • you are struggling to make decisions-even easy ones
  • you have brain fog-i.e. you are struggling to think clearly and process information

Top Stress Management Tips

During divorce there is a great deal going on. As well as the emotional turmoil of the breakdown of your marriage, you may well be also juggling children, your job, cash-flow issues etc. Here are my top stress management tips:

1.  Learn to take control over things you have control over, and let go of things beyond your control- I can help you identify the difference

2.  Allow yourself “time-out” from dealing with the things that are causing you stress – giving things space allows you to rest and gain perspective

3.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help– this can come in all sorts of ways-e.g. asking a friend to look after the kids whilst you go to yoga, or seeking professional help from a counsellor

4.  Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself, and likewise avoid spending time with people whose company you are not enjoying at the moment.

5.  Practise self- care -prioritising your needs and taking good care of yourself- e.g. good food, sleep and exercise.

6.  Don’t procrastinate with important things- not doing the things you know need to be done, can aggravate stress. Just doing them, may be less stressful than you think.

7.  Get a good divorce coach – I can provide emotional support and practical help with whatever is causing you stress, empowering you to feel more confident and in control.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.

If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help/or support during
 the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.

Why I became a divorce consultant.

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