I’ve never been the greatest fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s a strange concept to choose just one day to celebrate your love for your partner. It’s as if making a fuss of them on 14th February makes up for not showing your love on the other 364 days of the year. I have even heard some even say that it’s a good opportunity to bank some brownie points in your relationship, so it lets them off the hook for a while afterwards.
I’m sure I’m not wrong in thinking that a great many couples are also not fans of Valentine’s Day. They can feel the pressure of getting the right card (funny versus slushy love stuff); writing a brilliant message inside; over-prized flowers and chocolates; difficulties booking a restaurant for the romantic meal; getting a babysitter; and generally feeling the pressure to celebrate when they’re shattered, its (often) mid-week and they want an early night because the kids have given them a cracking head-ache and had them up at 4am when little Tommy woke them to announce his teddy had fallen off the bed.
But for those who find themselves single on 14th February, (whether they were a fan of Valentine’s Day whilst a couple or not), it is a stark reminder that they don’t have a partner to celebrate with. It can be very uncomfortable to be reminded that you are not in a relationship. The TV is littered with lovey-dovey Moonpig card adverts, M&S food ads for romantic meals for two and restaurants advertise weeks in advance for special Valentine’s Day menus. It can seem like everywhere a single person looks, they are reminded of the image of happy couples and people in love.
This topic of conversation often comes up with my divorce clients, so I’ve pulled together my tips for approaching this Valentine’s Day if you find yourself without a partner on 14th February:
Let’s face it, it’s no big deal. It’s just another day of the week. Life goes on as normal and it’ll be a new day tomorrow. It’s basically just an excuse for retail and restaurant establishments to take advantage of the opportunity to inflate their prices. You’re lucky you don’t have to be involved in that nonsense this year.
Show yourself love
You don’t need to rely on a partner to feel loved. Show yourself some love. You could choose to buy yourself flowers/chocolates; a special gift; treat yourself to a massage, or even a relaxing bubble bath with your favourite book. Choose to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Make it your own
Perhaps you could put your own twist on the day and send a card or gift to a friend or relative to show them you love them. Or you could arrange to do something fun with other single friends who might be at a loose end on the day as well.
Remember the positives
If you buy yourself a gift, you know you’ll be guaranteed to like it.You can take advantage of the bargains available on 15th February when the florists didn’t sell all their Valentine’s Day flowers. Remember that being alone is better than being in an unhappy relationship.
Whatever you decide to do on 14th February, I hope you have a happy day.
If you are either considering separation or have recently separated from your spouse and are considering divorce, please do get in touch with me to find out how I could help you. Don’t struggle alone. I’m here to help.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.
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