What is the danger zone during a divorce?
This is when you are feeling emotionally(and perhaps financially) spent with the legal proceedings, but are still stuck in the negotiations for a financial settlement.
You have had enough and want all of the legal proceedings to be over.
You desperately want to be the other side of this difficult time in your life.
How will you know if you are in the danger zone?
Are you feeling under pressure to agree to a financial settlement that you don’t properly understand or isn’t really what you want?
Are you feeling the pressure from your ex and family/friends to get things finalised?
Are you feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place, worrying that if you keep pushing for a better financial deal, it will take more time, money and stress and your relationship with your ex will be even worse?
Are you thinking that you just want all this over with so you’d be happy to agree to anything?
What to do if you find yourself there…
Wait. Take stock. Get some perspective. This is your one and only chance to negotiate the best financial settlement you can get. Take the time to get it right NOW. It is an important investment in your financial post-divorce future.
You need to feel comfortable with your financial settlement, not just now, but in 6months and 6yrs time and beyond. Take time to get it right now.
Here are my top tips for dealing with the danger zone:
- Recognise you are in it, and take a step back. Take stock.
- Talk to your divorce coach about your concerns and use them as a sounding board for you to process your thoughts. They can also help you gather together a list of questions for your solicitor/mediator.
- Obtain good legal advice from your solicitor about your options for the financial settlement and allow them the opportunity to answer any questions or concerns you have about the negotiations etc.
- Be clear about what you are trying to achieve by way of a financial settlement-e.g. to stay on the family home, to receive sufficient spousal maintenance etc.
- Try to take the emotion out of your negotiations. Be business-like about it. Make sure you are making decisions with your head not your heart. Your heart will heal (I promise) but this is your one chance to get this financial settlement right.
- It is more important to take the proper time needed to reach the correct financial settlement now, than rush things through and end up with huge regret things later.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.
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