Are you divorcing a controlling spouse?
You may have recognised your spouse was controlling during your marriage and that may be one of the reasons you are getting divorced.
But I have found that some of my clients were not aware they had a controlling spouse until they are in the divorce process.
Divorce can bring out the worst in people and most if not everyone will be feeling anxious and stressed. These symptoms can make us behave differently to our normal selves and/or we can become an exaggerated version of ourselves.
11 characteristics of controlling behaviour
- Bullying
- Manipulation
- Impatience
- Blackmail
- Pressure to make decisions
- Threats
- All or nothing thinking
- Belittling
- Patronising
- Condescending
- Your spouse knows you well and will know what buttons to press to get a reaction from you.
What to do
✅ Recognise your buttons have been pressed. Acknowledging this is the first step to take back your control.
✅ Make sure you don’t just give in to the control to make the bad behaviour stop. It will fuel them to take control over other things.
✅ Get proper advice on what your spouse has said. Recognise that just because he/she says so, doesn’t make it so.
✅ Always allow time and space to gather your thoughts before responding to communication. Don’t feel rushed. Create some space.
✅ Let your divorce support team guide you. They can provide some perspective on your spouse’s behaviour and the legal process.
✅ Provide a considered and informed response. This will help you feel calm and confident about your reply.
Many of my clients have controlling spouses and I provide much deserved help and support to how to manage this whilst navigating through their divorce. Don’t struggle alone.
For more advice on abusive relationships, click here: Abuse.
©Rhiannon Ford 2010-2024 All rights reserved
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Why I became a divorce consultant.
