You may have recognised your spouse was controlling during your marriage and that may be one of the reasons you’re getting divorced. But sometimes my clients weren’t aware they had a controlling spouse until they’re in the divorce process.
Divorce can bring out the worst in people and most if not everyone will be feeling anxious and stressed. These symptoms can make us behave differently to our normal selves and/or we can become an exaggerated version of ourselves.
Here are 11 characteristics of controlling behaviour in the divorce process:
- Pressure to make decisions
- All or nothing thinking
Your spouse knows you well and will know what buttons to press to get a reaction from you.
Here is my advice on what to do if you find yourself in this situation:
✅ Recognise your buttons have been pressed. Acknowledging this is the first step to take back your control.
✅ Make sure you don’t just give in to the control to make the bad behaviour stop. It will fuel them to take control over other things.
✅ Get proper advice on what your spouse has said. Recognise that just because he/she says so, doesn’t make it so.
✅ Always allow time and space to gather your thoughts before responding to communication. Don’t feel rushed. Create some space.
✅ Let your divorce support team guide you. They can provide some perspective on your spouse’s behaviour and the legal process.
✅ Provide a considered and informed response. This will help you feel calm and confident about your reply.
Many of my clients have controlling spouses and I provide much deserved help and support to how to manage this whilst navigating through their divorce. Don’t struggle alone.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.
If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during or after the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.
Why I became a divorce consultant.