Mrs AS had been in an emotionally abusive marriage and had been married for 36 years with the total length of her relationship with her husband being 39 years.
Both were retired. They had 2 adult children and a grandchild.
She was already in the legal process when we met, having been recommended to me by her solicitor.
Emotional abuse
She had suffered years of emotional abuse by her husband who also had a drink problem.
The couple were due to start family law mediation to resolve financial matters in the divorce but the client was concerned about the choice of mediators as well as whether mediation was the correct approach due to the personality of her husband.
Our meetings were carried out by video with telephone and email support in between.
Mrs AS kindly agreed to share her story about the work we did together. This is what she had to say:
What was going on for you that prompted you to get in touch with Rhiannon in the first place?
“I had left my husband on the grounds of abuse, and being afraid to be in the family home, and had decided to file for divorce. My solicitor recommended I get in touch with Rhiannon to explore how she might support me through the divorce process, in a complementary way to the legal support my solicitor would provide.”
Re-building self-esteem
What in particular did you want help with when you first started working with Rhiannon?
“I needed to build up my courage, stamina and self-belief again, as I had become lacking in all three after the abuse, which was relatively low level from the beginning of the marriage in 1985 but escalated from 2017 when we both retired from work.”
Empathetic support and a legal background
What did you find most helpful about working with Rhiannon in the early stages of your separation/divorce?
“Her understanding of how I was feeling, what I was concerned about, and what I hoped to achieve; her legal background which meant she prepared me fully for calls with my solicitor and also for what might be coming from my husband’s side; and her experience of mediation, and the personality of my husband.”
How has working with Rhiannon helped you during the legal process of your divorce?
“I have felt like a prize fighter with the best possible coach in my corner. Rhiannon has provided me with all the support I could have asked for, while leaving me room to get my act together for myself as much as I could.”
By your side throughout the process.
What have been any other benefits of working with Rhiannon?
“Her warmth, friendliness and good humour, combined with her complete professionalism – I could not have asked for a better combination to give me confidence in the process and lift my spirits throughout our working together.”
What would you say to someone considering getting a divorce as to how Rhiannon might be able to help them?
“I would strongly recommend having at least the first meeting, because my experience was that from day 1 I felt Rhiannon was on my side, listening to me and my needs, respecting my thoughts, explaining what I didn’t know, and encouraging me through the tough times in a way no-one else could have.”
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Why I became a divorce consultant.
