Mrs D had suffered from coercive control and gaslighting. She had been unhappy in her marriage for a long time. But she felt very uncomfortable considering divorce.
She had been finding her husband’s behaviour increasingly difficult to manage whilst being very critical of herself. Listening to her story, it became evident that her husband was very controlling and manipulative.
He exhibited many characteristics of a narcissistic personality type. She also gave many examples of coercive control and gaslighting.
Wanting to save the marriage.
The client initially wanted to see if she could save
the marriage and my focus was for her to get the support and guidance she needed to investigate this. And, when she did decide that a divorce was necessary, to provide help and save the marriage my focus was for her to get the support and guidance she needed to investigate this. And, when she did decide that a divorce was necessary, to provide help and advice throughout her divorce journey.
She agreed to share her story of the work we did together:
What prompted you to get in touch with Rhiannon in the first place?
“My husband and I had been struggling in our marriage for about 8 years and I was really finding it difficult to weigh up my options as felt I was coming to the end of trying to save it. This was about 5 years ago, and I didn’t feel like divorce was an option but wanted to explore different avenues e.g. separation. I was so nervous (and didn’t want to accept that it might be the end) to engage with solicitors as that felt too scary but I needed to understand the options I had available. Rhiannon’s offering felt like a safe space to explore my options – understanding legal options but in a safe non-committal nurturing environment.”
Understanding your options
What in particular did you want help with when you first started working with Rhiannon?
“I wanted to understand my options. I couldn’t even say the word “Divorce” as I really really didn’t want this to happen so wanted to understand what the options were for “separation” or other. Rhiannon recommended a counsellor to help me with the emotional issues, and explained I needed to understand from a legal perspective what my options were.”
Providing a safe space to talk things through.
What did you find most helpful about working with Rhiannon in the early stages of your separation/divorce?
“At the time I first met Rhiannon, I instantly felt safe, felt she had my best interest at heart, and she was very good at explaining my options and answering all my questions. I then ended up coming back to Rhiannon two more times over the next 3 years (as I still tried to save my marriage) and again she was patient with me, listened to my concerns and helped me mentally to navigate this very trying time. Not only did Rhiannon offer expert advice and support, but she was also very much focused on helping me to look after myself emotionally and physically and to build up my support team. Once I finally made the decision to divorce, four years later, Rhiannon remembered my history, and we picked up where we left off. She provided excellent referrals for solicitors, mediators, barristers, and the like. She was constantly working to ensure I had the best team around me.”
Translating legal jargon
How did working with Rhiannon help you during the legal process of your divorce?
“Rhiannon not only translated all of the legal jargon and acronyms but has also been an excellent sounding board as I struggled with the length of the process, the curve balls that were thrown my way and how best to support my children through this process. She constantly gives me words of encouragement and ensures that I am looking after myself too.”
Referrals to other divorce professionals.
What other benefits were there to working with Rhiannon?
“Rhiannon’s network of counsellors, barristers and solicitors has proved to be invaluable. Equally, Rhiannon really takes a real personal vested interest in her clients, remembering details about your family, and extended family and bringing this into conversations. At a recent hearing, she remembered questions I would have wanted to ask but in the emotions of the day I had forgotten!”
What would you say to someone considering getting a divorce as to how Rhiannon might be able to help them?
“Speak to Rhiannon FIRST! She will give you perspective for your current thinking, and will 100% support you in your decisions!!!! I think she probably knew I would get to this point right when I met her 5 years ago, but I needed to get to that point myself and each time I met her (even after many months) we picked up where we left off! She has been a huge support throughout this journey. I highly recommend working with her.”
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“Thank you for all your support, guidance, care, advice and being the lead of Team XX. I could not have got through the last few years without you. Thanks for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.”
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To read more client stories, click here – Client Stories.
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©Rhiannon Ford 2010-2024 All rights reserved
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To find out the different ways I could help you with your divorce or separation, please click here: Rhiannon’s Services.
And click here to check out my resources and products available from my website: All Products.
Why I became a divorce consultant.
