Divorce is tough when you are divorcing a bully.
Mrs. W was the only breadwinner in the family, as her husband had chosen to stop working. He was also a bully and she had struggled with his controlling behaviour for a long time. We worked together over several months, to help ensure she had a strong support system in place to navigate the divorce process.
Here’s her story in her own words:
Controlling and intimidating behaviour.
What was going on for you that prompted you to get in touch with Rhiannon in the first place?
“I had been separated from my husband for 3 years but struggling to progress our divorce. I was spending all my energy dealing with my husband’s controlling and intimidating behaviour, and the guilt I felt for the upheaval for our children. A colleague recommended Rhiannon to give me personal support and encouragement through the emotional side of separation as well as the practicalities of divorce and the legal process.”
Confidence to take control.
What in particular did you want help with when you first started working with Rhiannon?
“I needed help to find the confidence to take control and move things on. Rhiannon’s understanding of my husband’s behaviours helped me to develop coping mechanisms so that I am no longer thrown off track by him.”
Self-compassion.
What did you find most helpful about working with Rhiannon in the early stages of your separation/divorce?
“Rhiannon understood that I was finding it difficult to make progress, partly because I was spending a lot of time telling myself off for not making more progress! As well as reassuring me, Rhiannon encouraged me to take realistic and achievable steps forward.”
Legal support.
How has working with Rhiannon helped you during the legal process of your divorce?
“Rhiannon’s knowledge of the legal process has been invaluable. Before every meeting with my solicitor I spend time with Rhiannon to prepare, check that I am asking everything I need to ask and answering everything I need to answer so that the process can move on. As a result, every legal appointment feels entirely productive.”
Empathetic support.
What have been any other benefits of working with Rhiannon?
“Not only is Rhiannon guiding me through the legal process but also anticipating how I might feel and how my husband might behave so that I can be absolutely prepared and feel totally supported through every step of the process. Recently Rhiannon has helped me to prepare for mediation. I was much stronger in the meeting then I would have been without this preparation.”
Practical guidance.
What would you say to someone considering getting a divorce as to how Rhiannon might be able to help them?
“Even though it was my decision to end our marriage and I have no doubt that was the right decision, no-one pictures their life with a divorce in it. My feelings bounce from sadness to anger, to guilt, to shame, to regret, to relief. It is tough and it is very easy to dwell on this instead of moving forwards.
Rhiannon has helped me to work through this very emotional time with a perfect balance of empathy and practical guidance. I can’t imagine going through this process without her support.”
This lady did incredibly well coping with a challenging situation. She continued to take a sensible approach to her case as she navigated through the challenges of her husband’s behaviour. She even managed to maintain her great sense of humour, which showed her strength of character.
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Read more client stories here: Client Stories.
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Why I became a divorce consultant.
