We are constantly bombarded in the press with stories about celebs getting divorced. The general public always seem fascinated with following the highs and lows of the lives of celebrities. Seeing them deal with births, deaths, marriages and divorce makes celebs seem more like “real” people. It reminds us that they too go through the same challenges in life as us “normal” people.
Divorce holds a stigma (rightly or wrongly) for being expensive, acrimonious and taking a long time to finalise. This theory is then thrown out of the window when we read reports about celebs getting “quickie divorces.” If we believe the press, the Holmes/Cruise divorce took about a week to finalise. Seriously?!
Does their celeb status and huge wealth mean they can manipulate the legal system to their advantage by getting their case heard quicker in the courts than us “normal” people? Or, does it mean that there is such thing as a quickie divorce, and they are available for everyone? Or, is it something else entirely? I have my own theories. What I do know however, is that it is important to remember we will never know the whole truth, and can only rely on massaged information provided by the media.
Given a choice, I suspect all my clients would opt for a “quickie divorce” if this was available. There is a natural desire to want to get the divorce over and done with as quickly as possible. Why is this? In my experience there are several reasons:
- No one gets married thinking they will get divorced and it is a very upsetting and difficult time. It is understandable they would want this sad period in their life behind them as quickly as possible, so they can move on to happier times.
- The theory is that the quicker the divorce is over with, the less time spent with the solicitors and consequently the less money spent on legal costs. In reality, the length of time the divorce case takes is largely dependent on how quickly and easier the divorcing couple reach agreement on financial and children matters.
- The legal process has a reputation of being intimidating and complicated, and clients want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Your friendly divorce coach and family law solicitor can support and guide you through the process. You may not need to step inside a court, and solicitors are not that scary really.
- There seems to be a presumption that a quick divorce is less painful because the legal case is over with quickly. Less arguing over assets and children will mean the legal case should be over with quicker. But you still need time to process your feelings and recover from the personal, practical and emotional issues which a divorce inevitably brings. This takes time and everyone deals with things in their own way and at their own speed.
I understand all these reasons. But whilst I do not want to drag things out for longer than is necessarily, it is so important to ensure the divorce case is approached properly and sensibly. Rushing to get a quick financial agreement with your soon-to-be-ex may not be in your best interests. Often, my clients are in a hurry to accept a financial offer which is to their detriment, just to get the legal case over with. You have to live with your decisions in the divorce case, for the rest of your life.
Make sure you make strong informed decisions with the help of your divorce coach and family law solicitor.
There is a balance to be met between not fighting over every small detail (which takes time and costs money with the lawyers), and taking time to obtain good advice to make sensible considered decisions.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.
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