Are you any good at asking for help?
I’ll be honest here, I’m not very good at all at asking for help when I need it. I think for me, there are probably various reasons for this; I’m used to being independent and getting on with things myself, I don’t like asking for help and want to be capable of doing things myself, I’m impatient and want things done quickly so try to do everything myself, and perhaps I’ve either forgotten how to ask for help or it just doesn’t cross my mind to ask. Sound familiar?
But I think all of us need to remember we can’t possibly know how to do everything or have the time or capacity to. And that’s okay. We’re only human.
I bet most of us would say that, whilst we’re not great at asking for help, we’re quite good at giving it. Most people like to help others. I know I do. We get enjoyment out of it; perhaps even as much as the benefit the other person feels from getting our help. So why are so many of us so rubbish at asking for help? Why don’t we treat ourselves as kindly as we do others? We don’t mind agreeing/ offering to give help, so why not feel comfortable asking for it?
Recognising that we need help is not a sign of weakness. I actually think seeking help is a sign of strength. It helps to recognise our limits and to look for outside help however big or small. It can help us to be more efficient, less stressed and we feel less alone having a helper. Helpers come in all shapes and sizes – friends, family or perhaps professionals.
If you’re struggling with something and/or feeling stressed, ask yourself whether asking for help would be a good idea. Then, work out what sort of help you need and where to get it from.
I’m a divorce “helper” but the type of help I give sometimes involves bringing in other resources and professionals to help my clients with different struggles they may have outside of the divorce case- emotional, financial, practical etc.
We all need help sometimes and that’s okay. That’s normal! I know I need to get better at asking for it, how about you?
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I recommend buying a divorce journal to record your thoughts and feelings. You can buy one here – divorce journals.
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Why I became a divorce consultant.
