Well-Being

Are you separated or going through divorce and worried about money during the corona crisis?

Going through separated or divorced and worried about money during the corona crisis?

Were you going through separation or divorce before the corona lockdown and are now worried about money?

There has been lots of change here in the UK (and around the world) in the last few weeks; many businesses have had to close their doors, some temporarily but unfortunately some permanently; many individuals can’t work during the lockdown and so income may have stopped or be greatly reduced. It’s a difficult time.

Here is my advice:

➡️ Have sensible discussions with your ex about money. One or both of you may be facing difficulties with your income at the moment. Agree how the family finances will be managed at the moment.

➡️ Investigate financial support available from the government. Here is the link to find out what you might be entitled to.

➡️ Ensure the family’s expenses are being met to avoid going into debt. If there isn’t enough money from income at the moment, you may need to consider using savings to help pay bills. It’s important to keep the household ticking over.

➡️ See if you can save money but reviewing your spending. Are there any unnecessary monthly expenses that could be stopped? Are any companies you normally pay suspending payments are the moment- e.g. gym membership?

➡️ Avoid over-spending. Keep a close eye on the whole family’s spending at the moment. Whilst we’re all at home during the lockdown, there are still things to spend money on, online. Be careful. It all adds up.

➡️ If you had got to the stage in your legal case of collecting financial information or had started negotiations for a financial settlement, I recommend you speak to your solicitor. Values of assets may well have changed in the present economic climate and you’ll need up to date legal advice as to how best to approach progressing your case.

➡️ You may already be divorced and are worried about receiving your financial settlement or ongoing maintenance. Communicate with your ex about any concerns you have and if you are unable to resolve things, speak to your solicitor for legal advice about your options. Solicitors and the courts are still working through the corona crisis.

➡️ It’s possible to spend less money than usual at the moment. Apart from household bills, most people’s main expense is food. None of us are going to restaurants, cinemas etc. or booking holidays. There may be less money coming in but hopefully less money going out too.

➡️ With sensible discussions with your ex and careful decisions, you can get through this difficult time.

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.

If you’d like to work with me 1:1, for help preparing for your divorce/or support during or after the divorce process, please get in touch to find out how I can help.

Why I became a divorce consultant.

Are you a divorced or separated parent needing to self-isolate with your children?

By Rhiannon Ford Leave a Comment

Please remember that’s it’s really important for the children to keep in close contact with their other parent.

Are you a divorced or separated parent needing to self-isolate with your children?

Technology means this is very easy and I suggest being able to see their parent’s face when they talk to them can help both the parent and the child feel connected. So video calls are great. There’s lots of options-

✅ Skype

✅WhatsApp video

✅ FaceTime

✅ Messenger

There are tons of ways to keep in touch and stay connected.

If you are on bad terms with your ex, please don’t use this difficult time as an opportunity to get back at them by preventing your children spending time in person or remotely, with their other parent. Put your personal differences aside and prioritise the children.

How to help protect your mental health during the corona pandemic

By Rhiannon Ford 2 Comments

It is of course crucial that we protect our own and others physical health at the moment to avoid spreading this horrendous disease.

However, it is also vitally important to do what we can to protect our mental and emotional health, and help others to do the same.

I’ve come up with my suggestions of what to remember at a time like this and what we could put in place to help protect our mental health.

What we need to remember:

The importance of accepting this is a worrying time. It’s natural to feel anxious with everything that’s happening. Your feelings are normal.

We’re all in this together. We all understand each other’s worries which helps us bond and come together.

We are adaptable creatures and can find ways to cope with this unusual situation. We need to be flexible and find creative ways to cope during this strange time.

This difficult time will pass. We don’t know when but it will. We need to have hope.

What practical things you can do to help:

✅ Maintain structure in your day – get up at the normal time and go to bed at the normal to to help regulate your body clock; create a daily routine; break the day up into parts involving different activities; create some variety to avoid boredom.

✅Exercise – there are lots of free online classes, you can also still go walking, jogging and cycling if you use social distancing.

✅ Get plenty of sleep and rest. Stress and anxiety is exhausting and we all need more rest at the moment.

✅ Limit time on social media and watching news. This helps avoid feelings of overwhelm.

✅ Get fresh air every day – sit in the garden; do some gardening; get up early to go for a walk somewhere quiet.

✅ Maintain human contact (especially important if you live on your own) – use video chats to help feel properly connected to others.

✅ Choose to listen to and give positive messages to yourself and others. The messages we tell ourselves have a huge impact on how we feel.

✅ Talk about your feelings- don’t bottle things up. Let others support you.

✅ Think how you can help others- this helps take our focus away from our own worries for a while AND helping others gives us that feel good factor.

✅ Choose to do activities at home that relax you; TV, meditation, mindful colouring, playing games, yoga, listening to music, podcasts etc.

You may also find it helpful to read my blog – What to do if you are worried about self-isolating with your spouse during your divorce.

What to do if you’re worried about self-isolating with your spouse during your divorce?

By Rhiannon Ford 2 Comments

“I’m worried about having to self-isolate in the house with my husband during our divorce.”

I met with a client recently who was concerned about the possibility of being stuck in the house with her husband for weeks on end, during the coronavirus pandemic. They have recently started divorce proceedings, are still living in the same house and have 2 young children.

My advice to people in this situation or anyone who was already having relationship difficulties before this cornovirus pandemic started, is as follows –

➡️ Keep things calm and civil. Put aside personal differences for the time-being.

➡️ Pull together at this difficult time. You loved each other once and hopefully still care for each other enough to support each other in this strange situation.

➡️ Work as a team with the children. You’re still parents and need to work together for them.

➡️ Give each other space when needed. If your relationship is very difficult, respect each other’s personal space. Take the pressure off from being stuck in the house together, by agreeing how you can help each other feel more comfortable.

➡️ Have sensible discussions about money. One or both of you may be facing difficulties with your income at the moment. Agree how the family finances will be managed at the moment and avoid over-spending.

➡️ This situation is only temporary. I appreciate we don’t know how long it will be for life to return to normal but we have to have hope it will happen.

➡️ Keep in touch. I’m here to support you. If things get tough, please reach out and we can speak, email or Skype to chat things through.

You may also find it helpful to read my blog – How to protect our mental health during the coronavirus pandemic.

Are You An Over-Thinker?

By Rhiannon Ford

Are you an over-thinker? I must admit I definitely can be. It’s tiring though, isn’t it? And a small issue becomes bigger and bigger the more we mull it over in our minds and try to think of EVERY possible eventuality. Phew. But does it serve us to be over-thinkers?

When is it okay to stop thinking and thinking about a particular thing? Well, my decision is when I start to go over the same stuff in my mind and know I’m not moving forward with my thought process.

I like that I’m a thinker. I like to process information and make considered choices and decisions.

So, when does the thinking become too much?

I would say it’s probably from a place of fear…

Fear of making the wrong decision?
Fear of not knowing the answer to something?
Fear of not understanding something?

But what can we do about it? Here are my tips:

Recognise when you’re over-thinking and not just thinking. You’ll probably be experiencing symptoms of frustration or anxiety.
Work out why you’re going round and round with your thinking process. What’s keeping you stuck?
Decide how you could help yourself to stop over-thinking. Perhaps you need to ask for help or advice to unanswered questions? Or perhaps you’d like a friend to be a sounding board for your thoughts to get their take on things?

If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you’ll find lots more in my eBooks, which you can purchase and download today.

If you’re struggling with over-thinking and would like to work with me 1:1, please get in touch to find out how I can help.

Why I became a divorce consultant.