Christmas is a funny time of year. Whilst some people love Christmas and all it entails, for others it is a stressful and/or difficult time of year for all sorts of reasons.
The media bombards up with images of the “perfect” Christmas for months leading up to the event itself. This puts huge pressure on the public to make Christmas AMAZING and to ensure everyone has a great time. This is particularly so for those whose life isn’t exactly how they would like it to be, such as those who are single… but don’t want to be.
Here are my tips for how best to approach Christmas when you’re single….
1. Take control – Plan how you want your Christmas to be and make it happen. One of my divorced clients books to go away on a scuba diving holiday every Christmas.
2. Create new traditions – don’t hang on to the past. Mix things up a bit and consider doing something different. What would you like to do this Christmas? Who would you like to spend time with?
3. Be kind to yourself- don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have the most amazing Christmas ever. Relax. You’re more likely to enjoy yourself if you don’t put too much pressure on it. Let things flow a bit.
4. Stay calm – Christmas brings up a lot of emotion. If you are struggling with your feelings, confide in friends or family and get support. Don’t struggle alone. Being happy is the best Christmas present you could give yourself.
5. Learn to accept the present situation – Christmas is a difficult time for many people, and particularly so for many singletons. Be kind to yourself. Stay strong. Learn to accept that things are different at the moment.
6. Avoid unnecessary stress – reach a balance between having activities and social occasions to look forward to whilst not over-booking yourself so you end up rushing around and feeling stressed. Hit a balance between having fun and also having some quiet time to relax.
7. Concentrate on the positives – you don’t have to put up with the negative things about your ex any longer (or the in-laws). You have more freedom to make Christmas the way you want it. Make the most of the present situation.
8. Remember it’s only one day – there is such a build up to Christmas with the advertising starting earlier and earlier each year. It’ll be over before you know it and normal life will resume.
And despite you presuming everyone else in your life is having a great time, whilst you’re not, that may not be true. A great deal of people find Christmas very stressful with lots to organise and the pressure they put on themselves to have a great time etc. And family arguments are very common when everyone is forced to be under the same roof for too long!
Whatever you end up doing this Christmas, relax and enjoy. If nothing else make the most of the time off work and the good excuse to overindulge on champagne and delicious food.
If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.
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