There’s no magic formula to navigate a high conflict divorce, as you only have control over your own behaviour and not your ex’s. But the more you can do to avoid conflict the less likely it’ll happen.
High conflict divorces are stressful and expensive!
Getting divorced tends to involve having to have difficult discussions with someone you may not get on with. That’s tough. But how you both decide to “behave” during your divorce will have a big impact on how:
- complicated
- stressful
- lengthy
- expensive
it could become.
If you are divorcing someone who is a bully and likes conflict you’ll need to have a good plan as to how to move forward with your divorce.
Here are 10 ways to help you navigate through a high conflict divorce:
1. Do not share your feelings with your ex. You will not get the response you want and they will use your feelings against you.
2. Get a good divorce support team – an experienced divorce consultant, strong divorce solicitor and a financial planner.
3. Have your own safe place to vent. This could be a particular friend or you could consider working with a counsellor.
4. Keep communication with them clear and straight forward.
5. Be business like in your approach to the divorce. It might sound cold but it’s important.
6. Accept you can’t control their behaviour. You only have control over your own behaviour. Choose wisely.
7. Don’t engage in the conflict. Stay calm. It’s more difficult for your ex to continue the conflict if you are not engaging in it.
8. Don’t take it personally. Stay strong. They are a difficult person and you are divorcing them now.
9. Set boundaries and be consistent.
10. Protect the kids. Keep them out of the conflict at all costs, whatever their ages.
If you’re struggling in a high conflict divorce, please get in touch to get the support you need.
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