It can be difficult to come to terms with your ex having a new family. And, it is important to establish how the kids feel about it. There will be a period of adjustment for everyone involved:
- Has your ex been considerate about their feelings and got them involved with the new baby?
- Is your ex spending as much time with the kids as they used to?
My advice is:
- Put aside your personal feelings towards your ex, and focus on the kids. Be neutral. Be there for them, should they need to talk about their thoughts and feelings about the new situation.
- Be encouraging about the new addition and do your best to reassure the kids that their other parent loves them just the same and that has not changed.
- Communicate with your ex about arrangements for the kids to meet the new baby and what changes there might be for your kids when they see their other parent.
- Encourage the other parent to ensure they have some special one-to-one time with the kids, separate from the baby. They should still have their own relationship with that parent.
- Remember the kids are children themselves and need time to adjust. Be careful not to expect them to grow up too quickly and take on roles as older siblings that might be too much for them.
If you have found this blog helpful, check out my other blogs on the topic of Children and New Partners
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