The Benefits of Massage Therapy When You’re Going Through Divorce

As part of my series of blogs on self-care, I have approached holistic therapist, Nerys Donaldson of Sheer Therapy to provide her tips and advice on the benefits of the different types of massage therapy.

Does booking a massage treatment feel like an indulgence? Nerys explains how it isn’t and could form an important part of your self care practice.

Going through a challenging time in your life, such as divorce can take it’s toll on your whole well-being – mentally, physically and emotionally. As we’ve talked about in my other self care blogs, it is so important to take good care of ourselves to put us in the best position possible to cope with difficulties we may face in life.

Massage is one of many options which could be beneficial to combat the symptoms of stress and anxiety many people suffer from when going through divorce.

Here’s what Nerys had to say….

“Me Time. Self Care. Time Out. Whatever you call it, making time for yourself is NOT an indulgence. It’s vital to your personal well-being, both physically and mentally. And during a time of prolonged stress such as divorce, it’s even more important that you take that time to look after yourself.

One of my most used phrases is that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. Life these days is often full on; diaries are packed with work, social events and never ending to-do lists. We race from one thing to the next and the addition of emotional stress can leave us feeling exhausted, drained and completely spent in terms of energy levels and mental capacity. Making time for yourself may seem unachievable and just another thing to fit in but an hour away from it all can actually have the opposite effect; giving you a chance to switch off mentally, re-charge physically and feel ready to cope with the next item on your list.

It’s key to choose the right form of self care for you, whatever that may be. For some, that may take the form of a massage. But there are so many that just the choice can be overwhelming. So, what can different types of massage do and which one do you go for?

Swedish & Deep Tissue Massage

What is it: Widely recognised as more traditional western types of massage, swedish or deep tissue massages are designed to work on tense, tight muscles, relieving pain and leaving you feeling more flexible. If you feel your are holding all  your stress in your muscles, this is the one for you.

What to expect: A full body Swedish massage tends to be lighter pressure whereas deep tissue (as the name suggests) aims to work on releasing deeper held tension so can be a little more tender. A good therapist will tailor the massage for you, altering the pressure as needed.


What is it: Reflexology works on the principle that every point in your body has a corresponding points on your feet. So by working the whole of the feet, you can access the whole body. If you tend to feel more mentally stressed, this is a great therapy to help you feel calm and more able to cope.

What to expect: Your therapist will work relevant points on both your feet and ankles, aiming to rebalance your body, induce a state of relaxation and promote a feeling of well-being. Many people find it deeply relaxing and fall asleep.


What is it: This is a rebalancing massage with essential oils that is designed to work on your central nervous system, promoting relaxation and relieving stress and tension. One of the best treatments for anxiety and stress, aromatherapy can really help you relax both physically and mentally.

What to expect:  A full body massage that enables you to switch off and let go. A good therapist will tailor the massage and the essential oil blend to your needs on the day.

Some final tips:

  • It’s important to choose what feels right for you and at the time that is right for you. Rushing to get to an appointment won’t do you any good and the benefits won’t be as great.
  • It’s helpful if you tell your therapist how you are feeling so they can tailor your treatment but you don’t have to tell them why you feel that way if you don’t want to. It’s enough to say your are under a lot of stress and feeling very anxious, for example.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for the treatment to be altered to how you want it. If you don’t like having your head massaged, for example, ask the therapist to miss that part out. This is YOUR time and it should be how YOU want it.”


Nerys has 14 years experience as a therapist and has developed a focus on helping to reduce tension and stress levels through natural therapies. She aims to tailor treatments to suit the needs of each client at that time, drawing on a range of different therapies and techniques as required to enable an increased feeling of well-being. She works from a small clinic in Edinburgh. To contact Nerys click here.


To see other blogs in my self care series, please a click on the links below:

The Importance of Self Care 

Self Care During Difficult Times

How To Create A Self Care Practice 


My work as a divorce consultant involves supporting the individual person through their divorce journey. Everyone is different and requires different levels of support. I can help guide my clients through the legal process but am also very interested in helping them cope personally with their experience. Helping them to prioritise their self care is an important part of this. To find out more about how I may be able to help you, get in touch with me here.


If you have found the tips in this blog useful then you will find lots more in my ebook “Tips for Coping with Divorce” which you can download here: free ebook.

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